Stories, Thoughts and Snippets
Facing Up 1 Facing Up 2 Facing Up 3 Facing Up 4
"I don't want to marry you."
"You don't want to marry me? I love you. You love me don't you?"
"I don't know you."
"But what about the last few months?"
"Look, damnit. I was surprised to see you when you showed up after the show. You looked cute in your uniform and I was happy about getting my spot with the company. I wanted to celebrate. God I knew I should have been on the pill."
"Whatever you say, I do love you. And I mean to do right by you and that child, and I don't see what you're going to do if you don't marry me."
In retrospect I learned to accept that my son was gay a lot sooner than I thought I would be able to. Considering I never thought I would be able to accept that. I can't help but wonder if maybe I would have gotten over aborting that same son. Not that I wish I didn't have him, I love him, but in all fairness I wouldn't have loved him if I hadn't had him, and I can only imagine what life would have looked like if I could have kept dancing. If I could have stayed in New York. If I could have done anything other than be a housewife in the middle of nowhere.